The Little Things That Actually Mattered - September 2026
On Tuesday, September 8, we had the honour of listening to two Lived Experts and our Lived Expert Coordinator Charlene, share some excellent insights about the little gestures that Humans and other adults can make that have lots of meaning and impact for someone who has not had the privilege of growing up in their family of origin. The biggest take-away for many was the simple, everyday things so many of us take for granted are unexpected gifts that can often induce big emotions. Below are some of the things our panelists shared. We hope that as you go forward in your own journey, you look for ways to make Lived Experts you know feel seen and worthy.
For one Lived Expert, two lice outbreaks in grade 10 resulted in two very different experiences. After the first outbreak, they were left to handle treating themselves alone. Too often this is the case for young people in care – handling things alone. In a second foster home, that caregiver helped with the treatment for hours. Our Lived Expert reported that she cried tears of happiness and gratitude for this simple gesture of caring and empathy.
One foster caregiver had the insight and compassion to ask the Lived Expert, “how does your mom show care for you?” One simple question that could mean the world to someone missing their family and home.
When asked about “ordinary events,” those things that most children and families do without thinking, one panelist shared that it really meant a lot when a carer came to a meet and greet with parents for them in grade 12. It was the first time any caregiver had done so.
Another Lived Expert also shared that no one had ever come to their sporting events until some neighbors offered to drive them and stay for a high school match.
During high school there is a lot that seems “normal” to those who grow up in their families of origin. Having a ride to and from school or after school events. Having someone who cared in the audience. Knowing that someone will take care of you when you’re sick. One Lived Expert shared that their foster mom picked them up from school, knowing they weren’t physically sick and validating in words for them, “You can be emotionally unwell,” and then providing the needed care.
Being checked in on is vitally important to a Lived Expert’s sense of worth. Not because you’re being paid. Not because it’s a holiday. Just because they are being thought of and remembered. The Lived Expert above who came home sick from school shared that until then, “I never had people check in on me except people who were paid!”
In closing, here is the piece of advice we were left with:
“Don’t try to break down our walls, be willing to climb in with me.”
