Redefining Success - C’s GrandHuman Story
C has been with Never Too Late (NTL) almost since it’s inception! She has been actively involved in community groups and has volunteered her time doing peer-support. At the beginning of 2020, with an imminent pandemic that would see the world change drastically, C met and welcomed a Lived Expert into her home and her life.
This is an excerpt from our 2023 - 2024 Annual Report.
After years of fostering, C knew she wanted to explore making a more permanent connection to a young person with living experience of the child protection system. This is what brought C to Never Too Late (NTL). She participated in one of our first-ever offerings of Training for Humans and soon became an integral part of our community.
Some months later, she was connected to a Lived Expert (we will call her Holly) who was a new parent herself. Since it was the beginning stages of the pandemic, there were a lot of restrictions on where they could go. C ended up meeting Holly and her son for the first time in the back of a car. They decided that Holly and her son would come to live with C, and she was launched into a whirlwind of planning.
“I remember calling Kate saying, ‘they don’t have a car seat, they don’t have this, and how am I supposed to do all these things?’” Kate M, who was in a role directly supporting Humans at the time stayed on the phone with C as she looked at car seats in a department store, trying to figure out which one to buy, “That was the fun part,” C describes with a laugh, “that initial, giddy feeling part of having this connection, of making this connection.”
C became a Human and an instant Grandhuman. While she had been preparing to support a Lived Expert of an older age, having a young child in her home again was not what she had initially pictured for herself. As things unfold in surprising ways, many Humans must reflect on their initial expectations of what this journey is going to look like. C’s openness and willingness to adjust expectations meant that she and Holly’s son still bonded quickly through baking and going for walks. On the long days of isolation due to COVID-19, they enjoyed romping through the house singing songs and playing games.
Every new relationship has its challenges, especially when you add in navigating mental health issues and learning to communicate through that lens. Holly relied on support people in her network to coordinate and connect with C. Having this “middle person” was helpful in many ways, “It was like having a translator and because it is not always clear how what we say and do is heard and received we needed that translator to understand each other.”
Having a middle person also presented certain challenges, “I am not saying I didn’t want her to have someone to talk to, but I found myself communicating with Holly more through her supportive people when I felt that we should have been dealing with that relationship between the two of us.”
Navigating and honouring past and current relationships of Lived Experts is important and is one of many common challenges that our Human community experiences in their journeys. “Even though Never Too Late (NTL) provided comprehensive training,” C commented, “you are never fully prepared for your unique relationship with your Lived Expert.”
What made a difference in C’s life through those challenging times? C points to the importance of having Never Too Late (NTL)’s Community Groups, which create an environment for peer-to-peer support and being able to talk to others who get it. “Being able to have those conversations and realize that you might sometimes be feeling a certain way, and that someone else is going through it. I think it was those connections,” she explains.
While C and Holly and her son no longer live together, their relationship continues to endure. What fills C with hope is when they connect, “Even if we don’t talk or see each other for a little while, when we do connect I get all the stories. I hear what’s going on.” All the challenging and exciting new things that living on your own brings.
When they do reconnect, Holly will tell C that her son is still singing all the songs that C used to sing to him when they lived together. These little reminders bring so much joy to C.
Holly and C may not spend as much time together now that they live separately, but she has seen the way their relationship will come full circle in those moments of reconnection, even when it’s just a simple text exchange. She talks about being on different sides of the circle as being at the 180.
“So even if we’re at the 180, we’re still in contact with them and that makes it seem hopeful for the future. We may not be necessarily close in location but our relationship will get stronger.”